Documents - Aircraft Gags


Listen to the recordings below.

Announcers were tricked into saying them under the pretence that they were foreign names.

This is the story.....

"We'd go and sit on the balcony at Terminal 3 at Heathrow, directly under one of the speakers as the roof is low.

We put the tape machine in our bag with the microphone poking out of the top.

We'd look for a flight that'd arrived in the last 40 minutes from somewhere where you'd expect mental names, then write a letter saying "Could you go and pick up etc. etc. from flight, etc".

That way, it looked like it'd been arranged in advance as the flight arrival details were written on the note.

We also wore an ID-style badge and carried a mobile so that we looked like taxi drivers.

One of us would get the first one read out and then the other did the second.

We'd pretend to be unable to pronounce it and then hand them the bit of paper with the name written on it.

Long winded, but well worth it!

Looks Like…Reads Like…Sounds Like…
Arheddis Varkenjaab and Aywellbe FayedI hate this fucking job, and I will be firedClick to listen
Arhevbin Fayed and Bybeiev RhibodieI‘ve just been fired, and bye-bye everybodyClick to listen
Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa KriestI need a piss quick, and my legs are crossedClick to listen
Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda ZheetOo-ah, that ‘ s better and now I need a shitClick to listen
Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahztedMy colleague just farted, and left the room, the bastardClick to listen
Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka PizinizteeStill, I got my own back and took a piss in his teaClick to listen

We got rumbled doing the "My colleague just, etc".

They actually threatened to arrest us as apparently they'd actually had complaints over the previous weeks!

We were toying with doing it again just to see what they'd arrest us for, but we rang Chris and all he said was, "go to Gatwick!"

This is the reason the last one sounds so crap 'cos Gatwick is a much noisier place and the ceilings are high, and it was difficult to get near a speaker.

The lengths we had to go to..."

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