Documents - It's Great to be a Souf Efrikan (South African)

This is a great country because:

You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.
Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.
You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.
You can experience kak service in eleven official languages.
Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?
It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing.
You're considered clumsy if you cannot use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.
Great accent. (!!!)
If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.
Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.
You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.
The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called. The police you have to call about three times.
Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.
The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
When a murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.
The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!
The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled.
Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks.