Documents - South African Viruses

• NELSON MANDELA VIRUS * Stays locked away in some unused region of your pc for 27 years and then takes it over completely.
  
• WINNIE MANDELA VIRUS * Extinguishes all data like a stompie.
  
• APARTHEID VIRUS * Separates PowerPoint slides based on colour. The nice thing about this virus is that anything that goes wrong with your computer can be blamed on this virus.
  
• AFFIRMATIVE ACTION VIRUS * A second rate virus that takes the place of a really good programme that was on your PC. In some cases the really good programme still hangs around and does all the work, but the virus takes the credit.
  
• MINI BUS TAXI VIRUS * Crashes through your PC with very little regard for the rules of the Internet highway. Stops data traffic for no reason. Causes other data to explode. Doesn't have a software licence.
  
• STRIKERS' VIRUS * Stops your PC in the middle of crucial production runs. Also causes your PC speakers to toi-toi at regular intervals and is always demanding more memory.
  
• MATRIC PAPER VIRUS * This virus is a stolen version of the real thing. Makes your PC worth less than the plastic it's made of.
  
• THIRD WORLD VIRUS * Keeps turning your clock back by 20 years. Slows down the fastest PC to the speed of the operator and has to be manually supervised to check for errors.
  
• SQUATTER VIRUS * Takes illegal residence of your PC and then starts stealing components. Difficult to remove, claims to have more right to your PC than installed programmes, because its forefathers were there first.
  
• EDUCATION POLICY VIRUS * Tries to drag all PCs down to the level of the slowest machine with the least memory.
  
• AK-47 VIRUS * Is obsessed with killing your motherboard, fatherboard and any other board that it finds.
  
• ANC VIRUS * Also similar to the Microsoft Virus. Promises you the earth but fails to deliver...or delivers software with more bugs than the original.

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